The parts about letting go are the writhing pains on his birthday - do I text or do I not? Will he think of me when I don’t? Does it all really matter?
The grieving process for loss is ubiquitus across platforms: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I’ve never left anger - I’m not sure when or if I will - but I’m virtually almost in the acceptance phase. It doesn’t change that this is a setback, and it doesn’t change that it hurts and that it sucks.
- Was dying to go to sleep at 6:30 tonight but rationalized that it was too damn early. It’s now 12:02 AM and I am of course awake as f. I’m watching CNN Heros and I just saw the story on Antoinette Tuff and how she spoke to a shooter at the elementary shool she worked at and got him to surrender and giirrrrrlllllll tears are streaming over here. Damn you, CNN Heros! Every time!
- Really going through it with work. I don’t want to get into the details of it all because - duh - Dooce. However, let’s just say that were I to be in a managerial position, I think that I would take care to be detail-oriented and I would take care not to show strong preferential treatment towards one party on a near-daily basis. I would probably do several things differently, but that’s not the job I have and so maybe it’s all moot.
- Drunk cried over boy this week, but that was once, and once is less than twice and so we’ll count that as a win.
- Mizzou beat A&M (which I was conflicted, seriously, because everyone knows Johnny Football is my boyfriend) and are now going to the SEC Championship and also the Patriots won and I don’t even care about football but hallelujah holla back!
- We’ve been dog-sitting my roommate’s aunt’s tiny puppy for about a week at this point and I am about to fucking lose it. I’m not exactlysure when he’s headed back to his owner, but I think it’s tomorrow or Tuesday which cannot come quickly enough. I am outspoken about hating pets - sorry not sorry - and was asked permission for this dog-sitting in a moment of weakness. I really liked the pup for the first 2 days, but since then .. all set. The thing yaps, it’s taken over our kitchen and pantry, there’s a gate between our kitchen and the rest of the apartment to keep him separated and it’s constantly in the way, he nips at our heels, and on and on and on. It’s just too much for me, and I’m ready for this little extravaganza to be over with. Sayonara, puppy.
- Not really going to do Cyber Monday tomorrow, I don’t think, unless Sephora has some dope sale on YSL red lipstick (I’m psycho for red lips these days) or fragrences. (A great fragrence > a dope handbag, I’m just saying.) I did already purchase the Sloan Sheath dress from Banana Republic per the suggestion of Jenna, and it was 40% off on Friday last week. Have fun going crazy on those sales, though, kids.
- Thanksgiving is stupid. NEXT QUESTION. (So not excited to have to answer this question 50 times tomorrow.)
Movies I really want to see:
- Hunger Games
- 12 Years A Slave
- American Hustle
Movies I’ll end up seeing:
I’m drunk writing holiday cards to my estranged relatives so lol to me